Meth addict lies

Just another quick post, after checking the site stats. Wow… thank you Google… if you do the “right” search this blog pops up quite high in the results – I never aimed for that, but I’m not complaining. It’s still 11:30AM here but there were several views from search engines already. Most of them land at stuff I’ve already written, but there is one false positive worth elaboration.

Meth addict lies
For most addicts who are using, lies are a huge part of their behaviour. It wasn’t that way for me. My only lie was “I am not using meth”… but more on that lie a little further down the page.

Addicts lie about everything. They need ways and means to get their drugs, often not involving actually working to earn some money, so they lie. They lie to family, friends, landlords, colleagues, neighbours, shop-keepers, themselves and anybody else who they need to lie to. For many, lying becomes a way of life, and even in recovery, some struggle with telling the truth simply out of habit. Besides lying about everything, many also lie for nothing.

I must still get to writing about how we lost our house. I’ll save the fine details for another post, but what it came down to was this: After four years of me leaving the rent money with Megan at the end of every month when I went to work, and four years of her actually paying the rent to the landlord (their offices were right next door), one day she simply didn’t do it. She told them that she’d been mugged, when all she had to do was walk out of our front gate, walk five metres on the road, enter the front gate, and ring their doorbell. Now theoretically, she could have been mugged in that 5m trek, but nobody in their right mind would have believed her. It wasn’t the last straw w.r.t. losing the house, but the writing was on the wall after that.

She once told me that the dog chewed up our son’s pram! She and her mother also used to come up with the most ridiculous schemes to get money. I’m not pointing my finger at them – that’s what most addicts do.

As I said, I only had one lie. “I used to be on meth, but I cleaned up by myself, with willpower alone. I am clean.” Because of my inability to lie (which I did partially, but not completely, get over in active addiction), whenever I used that lie and was asked “How long have you been clean?”, I could not answer the question. I’d use distraction to avoid it, and must admit, I was pretty good at it. People believed me for a while, until my behaviour became so erratic and irrational that it was obvious I was lying.

In summary, most addicts lie all the time. With many of them, it is blatantly obvious, and nobody with half a brain will believe them. Or maybe you believe them because you want to believe them (Addicts are seldom stupid. They can manipulate you emotionally.), but the reason you searched for meth addict lies is that deep down, you know they are talking shit. Maybe you know an addict similar to the way I was. If they say they are clean, but are abnormally thin, appear overly anxious, agitated and fidgety, never have any money, have black rings around their eyes, maybe have dilated pupils (I did not), maybe clench their jaw and grind their teeth (I did), then ask them how they cleaned up by themselves, and ask them how long they are clean. I guarantee they will not be able to answer.

About Jerome Viveiros

I am a senior C# developer in Johannesburg, South Africa. I am also a recovering addict, who spent seven years using methamphetamine. I write on my recovery blog about my lessons learned and sometimes give advice to others who have made similar mistakes, often from my viewpoint as an atheist, and I also write some C# programming articles on my programming blog.
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13 Responses to Meth addict lies

  1. Jerome says:

    Did anyone watch “My name is Earl” last night? It was hilarious… Earl is in prison and trying to reunite a meth addict artist with his parents. It shows a scene with the meth addict tweaking on a painting of his meth lab, as it starts burning – and subsequently burned the house down. Someone with a whacked out sense of humour, who knows a bit about meth addicts, must have written that episode…

    Anyway, looking at the blog, with my paintings for background and colour in the sidebar, made me think of that show… :)

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  2. Chris Viveiros says:

    Jerome you are still lying. Even to yourself. Anyone who follows your blogs regularly will know what I am talking about.

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    • Robert Lancaster says:

      Chris,
      I understand your anger and hurt. I lost a friend good friend of mine due to a drug habit. He was murdered over monies owed. So I do understand.
      These tirades of yours are not solving anything. What you need to do is sit with your brother and sort shit out.
      Josh needs his parents … simple … but true.
      Now what can you do to help that situation?
      And the inverse holds true, Jerome what can YOU do to help the situation?
      Stay strong guys, Josh needs all of you!!!

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      • Chris Viveiros says:

        Hi Robert, I have sat down with him for about 7 years, unfortunately there is now a young life to consider, and I am tired of trying to talk sense to someone who does not want to listen. This month Jerome left us, and indeed his mother, financially in the lurch, in order to fund Megan’s trip to JHB. He did this behind everyone’s back and kept her presence here a secret.

        I respect that he puts her first, thats seriously his choice, but I won’t stand bye and let him wreck the life of someone who is 100% reliant on the choices of others.

        Joshua is back with us today after Child Welfare got involved. The unfortunate truth is that Joshua does need his parents, but they are not capable of providing a stable and safe environment for him. Thats not only my opinion now, it is the opinion of Child Welfare as well.

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        • Jerome says:

          No, their opinion is that he can not be with us because we have no proof that we are clean. And this is your doing, not ours.

          Thanks to you, he has now gone through far more trauma than before. I suppose we now have to go through whatever they (Child Welfare) expect of us before we can have him back, and so we will. This is your doing. I have explained why I kept money aside. Your explanation is an assumption and a lie.

          If Josh continues to stay with you, I will continue to support him, but I will pay his expenses directly. Since you wanted to make this about money, so be it. I will pay his expenses and will not transfer another cent into your account.

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          • Chris Viveiros says:

            Thats fine we have a R1000 bill which you need to pay from this month, and the the R750 bill which you said you paid directly is still unpaid. I will email them to you tomorrow.

            Let me know when Johsua is on your medical aid, I will be happy to remove him off my account if you put him on yours, it makes no difference to me.

            I don’t really understand why you say that i have put him through trauma. I didn’t force you to take him. You took him and there was nothing I could do to stop you. I didn’t force you to bring his mother back while she is still in active addiction. That was your choice.

            And by the way, I didn’t speak to Child Welfare for more than 2 minutes. They form their own opinions after investigation.

            Don’t make this about me Jerome. You made your own choices.

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        • Jerome says:

          If I kept her presence here a secret, you wouldn’t know she is here. I told you and your wife in good faith, and everything that happened after is your doing.

          I will now go offline and stop allowing myself to be upset by your lies. You have caused a great deal of harm, and there is no point in telling you. You will never listen. And you’re so nice and rational online. If only everyone could see the true you.

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        • Jerome says:

          One more thing before I go offline… I left mom in the lurch? I took her shopping, with my money.

          So I paid you R2000 instead of R3000. So what? I must rather fail all my debit orders and pay what I cannot afford to make you happy? One failed anyway, and despite my checque account being R2770 beyond my limit, I kept the money in my credit card that was supposed to be transferred back to clear it. The money was only in my credit card to avoid the extra Toyota debit order. I made a mistake keeping it back. But I didn’t leave anybody in the lurch.

          You didn’t complain when I bought Alex a birthday present last weekend. Why didn’t you take action then?

          And you still haven’t explained how your being angry with me because of money justifies all the anguish you have caused Josh these last few days.

          Now I really must go offline. Your bullshit just upsets me.

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          • Chris Viveiros says:

            Jerome it is not my money. It is Joshua’s money. Regardless of where he is, his costs are the same. (Basic: Creche: R1300, Med Aid R700, Nappies R500, Food R500 = R3000 per month for basics, this month he cost another R1000 in innoculations because we had to catch up everything which you missed – do you remeber us telling you that he needed to go since June). What upsets me is that you will take from your own son and justify it in some way. There is no justification for this.

            I respect that you want to pay his expenses directly, it suits me down to the ground. Don’t forget to pay R1300 for school fees in cash to Pat when you get paid.

            I told you before that we will be willing to hand this all over to Children’s court, to make decisions. If you and Megan are sober and ready to take him, we are not going to fight it. As difficult as this is for you to believe, I have hardly even spoken to Child Welfare. They have their own job to do.

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  3. Jerome says:

    @Chris. No matter what you say, nothing justifies what you did this weekend. You did force me to take Josh, with the intention of goading me to use drugs so that you could remove him.

    I am sick of reading your lies and attempt to distract anyone from the truth by making it financial. The fact is, you called Child Welfare and made baseless accusations that we are on drugs, to have him removed. You caused him trauma. You refuse to take responsibility for your actions. Don’t write your nonsensical justifications here anymore.

    If you only spoke to her for two minutes, why did she keep calling me Chris by mistake?

    I have the drug test results proving that Megan and I are both clean, and they have been faxed to Child Welfare.

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  4. Chris Viveiros says:

    I am glad you are clean Jerome. I didn’t have any doubt.

    The tests only show 3 days’ cleanliness though. You know full well Megan is in full withdrawal, you told me this yourself. She is a danger to Joshua. Don’t make too many assumptions based on passing this test.

    I understand you are upset, and you need to know I am committed to doing what is right for Joshua, and that includes placing him back in your care when you are in a position to provide a stable and safe environment for him. I am not fighting with you.

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  5. River says:

    Hi I am a friend of a guy in prison for drug possession. He was doing so well but is having urges to use drugs and is having doubts in his ability to stay sober. If anyone out there with similar struggles can help him with some words of encouragement or advise it would be so great. Peace to you all.
    His blog is at http://www.intexasprison.com

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