Just another quick post, after checking the site stats. Wow… thank you Google… if you do the “right” search this blog pops up quite high in the results – I never aimed for that, but I’m not complaining. It’s still 11:30AM here but there were several views from search engines already. Most of them land at stuff I’ve already written, but there is one false positive worth elaboration.
Meth addict lies
For most addicts who are using, lies are a huge part of their behaviour. It wasn’t that way for me. My only lie was “I am not using meth”… but more on that lie a little further down the page.
Addicts lie about everything. They need ways and means to get their drugs, often not involving actually working to earn some money, so they lie. They lie to family, friends, landlords, colleagues, neighbours, shop-keepers, themselves and anybody else who they need to lie to. For many, lying becomes a way of life, and even in recovery, some struggle with telling the truth simply out of habit. Besides lying about everything, many also lie for nothing.
I must still get to writing about how we lost our house. I’ll save the fine details for another post, but what it came down to was this: After four years of me leaving the rent money with Megan at the end of every month when I went to work, and four years of her actually paying the rent to the landlord (their offices were right next door), one day she simply didn’t do it. She told them that she’d been mugged, when all she had to do was walk out of our front gate, walk five metres on the road, enter the front gate, and ring their doorbell. Now theoretically, she could have been mugged in that 5m trek, but nobody in their right mind would have believed her. It wasn’t the last straw w.r.t. losing the house, but the writing was on the wall after that.
She once told me that the dog chewed up our son’s pram! She and her mother also used to come up with the most ridiculous schemes to get money. I’m not pointing my finger at them – that’s what most addicts do.
As I said, I only had one lie. “I used to be on meth, but I cleaned up by myself, with willpower alone. I am clean.” Because of my inability to lie (which I did partially, but not completely, get over in active addiction), whenever I used that lie and was asked “How long have you been clean?”, I could not answer the question. I’d use distraction to avoid it, and must admit, I was pretty good at it. People believed me for a while, until my behaviour became so erratic and irrational that it was obvious I was lying.
In summary, most addicts lie all the time. With many of them, it is blatantly obvious, and nobody with half a brain will believe them. Or maybe you believe them because you want to believe them (Addicts are seldom stupid. They can manipulate you emotionally.), but the reason you searched for meth addict lies is that deep down, you know they are talking shit. Maybe you know an addict similar to the way I was. If they say they are clean, but are abnormally thin, appear overly anxious, agitated and fidgety, never have any money, have black rings around their eyes, maybe have dilated pupils (I did not), maybe clench their jaw and grind their teeth (I did), then ask them how they cleaned up by themselves, and ask them how long they are clean. I guarantee they will not be able to answer.